For a long while now I have been looking forward to the publishing of a new pattern of mine which was originally due out in Simply Knitting a couple of months ago. Due to what I assume to be pattern scheduling changes it’s been knocked back a couple of issues and I have been unsure as to when it was due to be published. I had asked the question of the magazine and had been told that it was going to be in the special Christmas booklet that accompanies issue 113, similar to the one that carried my two Christmas Stocking designs last year.
The other day I mentioned on Twitter that I thought it was due to be published this month and a couple of followers kindly replied that they hadn’t spotted any design of mine in there. Not having heard anything contrary to what I had been told by the publisher I thought I would treat myself to the magazine today, just in case, and those socks that I spent hours designing and knitting have finally made it in to print.
It’s always an exciting moment, to see how the design has been styled and photographed and what visual impact the finished design has on the page (and I hoped that it would be high as these were a special sock project for me, having been made with my absolute favourite yarn – the zauberball). It’s exciting to see how the text and images have been laid out and presented, and of course it is always wonderful to see your name proudly next to your hard work.
Except that’s not my name.
It was one of those absolutely heart sinking into the stomach moments after something I had been waiting for months to see just seemed so wrong. Mr Awesome could immediately tell that something was amiss as he sat beside me in the car and saw my whole countenance fall downwards. Then he let out a little swear word as he saw it.
If you knit a sock design for a magazine you don’t do it for the money. The hours it takes to make the socks alone make that pretty much impossible, so being able to show your grandmother, your work colleagues and mostly your fiancé or other loved ones makes a big difference. But now this can’t sit alongside last year’s book with the same joy. I can’t send my grandmother a copy of this with a little note to ignore the name as it is my design, really.
It’s a mistake, and mistakes happen. And it may seem like a trivial mistake to some, but it represents so much hard work and effort for now so little joy. I suppose it’s the joy of recognition, as there is pride in a name alongside a piece of work, and my name isn’t alongside that project that I put so much into.
The worst thing is that I so very much needed cheering up after a bad day. I bought the magazine to try and do that, just in the hope that I would flick through the ages and find my name next to an awesome pair of Zauberball socks. It’s not helped my bad day at all. And I can’t fix it properly.